And so it begins....

So far today has been moderately better than yesterday.  At the very least I've had less orifices invaded.  And by less, I mean different.  Today was the abdominal CT to make sure the cancer hasn't spread anywhere.  I will say, the docs are moving crazy fast on this one!  It's amazing what a potentially fatal illness will do for  you when it comes to making specialist appointments!

For those of you who've never experienced the joys and wonders of drinking 33.8140227 US fluid ounces of a delicious barium berry smoothie, let me tell you - it's something to be missed! Now, we've all had the flu or upset tummy and had to take a couple teaspoons of pepto. Take that memory and imagine you're forced to drink 33.8140227 US fluid ounces of berry flavored pepto.  cold. through a straw. on an empty stomach.  And the clincher: as I'm sucking down the last dregs of the bottle, the nurse tells me that it's a laxative.  FML.

The rest of the procedure was mostly unremarkable - I still don't like IV's and now I know that I don't like having iodine pushed through them.  Having had sinus CT's in the past, I will say that it was nice to go into das uber claustro tube feet first.  I was even happily amused by the light up breathe/hold your breath faces.  You'd be surprised at how challenging it can be to draw a face that means "hold your breath", as opposed to "you're gonna vomit now."

I also talked with my gyn today a little calmer and more relaxed than I was yesterday.  The gist of my diagnosis is this: it's either stage 1 cervical cancer or stage 2 uterine cancer. The downside is that it's too advanced to just cut out the ucky bits.  At least that little hope bud was nipped fast and early. If it's just cervical, I'll most likely have radiation treatment and if it's uterine, a hysterectomy.  I'm shooting for localized radiation myself - I get to keep the hair on my head, but never have to do a bikini wax again!  Woot woot!

Up next....the emotional fallout...

The first 7 hours....

So I got a call from my gyn today, and just after 12:00pm, my entire world flipped upside. I was told I have cervical cancer and that mine is rare, unusual and aggressive.  Anyone who knows me knows that I tend to be an all or nothing kind of girl, so leave it to me to get the weird stuff! Since I was just on my way into work, I immediately turned back around and headed home (after a melt down in the car, of course).

To give a little background, it started a few weeks ago when I went for my regular pap, which came back abnormal.  As a "precaution" it was decided to do a colposcopy (where why take a big ol' magnifying lens to your cervix! FUN!), which resulted in the gyn doing a biopsy (yay! more fun times!).  After talking w/ the doc, and then my own googling, I was mildly concerned, but reassured that in these cases, it's usually nothing, and something they just keep an eye on.  Ummm yeah, so much for that!

Flash forward to the rest of my day:  visit to the oncologist (aka he-who-has-no-sense-of-humor), which included more poking and prodding at my lady bits (let's be honest with ourselves, men just don't have the right touch when it comes to using a speculum in the vagina.).  And fun-est time of all: a rectal (so he could feel the back side of my cervix).  Now if getting a diagnosis of cancer is the whipped cream on your sundae, then a big ol' man-finger up your backside truly is the cherry with the nuts on top!  The rest of the day was less eventful, with a million vials of blood being drawn, xrays and EKG.  I wonder what medical wonders and joys are up for next week?

The Impact:
My initial freaking out came with the immediate fear of dying.  I mean, who wants to die when they've just finished college (finally!), and still have years of crippling student loan debt to pay off?  I'll be damned if I suffered through all those science and math classes to be taken out by cancer!! Never mind that I still haven't eaten at a Roscoe's Chicken n' Waffles....