Ok, so I'll start with the good (?) news. It looks like my insurance will cover everything except $1500 (and really, even my broke ass could come up with that!*) I also got the CT results back, and it looks like the cancer hasn't spread, although there is one slightly swollen lymph node. So 2 tiny cm is all there is so far. THANK GOODNESS!
Now, in the last couple of days things have been nothing short of surreal and insane. One thing that I realized last night is that I'm now suddenly afraid of my vagina. Our society puts this negative mystique to the lady parts, and then when something like this happens, what are women supposed to feel about them? For those of you who've seen Clerks II, you'll recall the scene where Elias explains to Randall about Pillow Pants, the pussy troll**? Yeah, I feel like I have a pussy troll that's moved in and it's freakin' me the fuck out***! I was laying in bed last night, and kept having visions of the evil Pillow Pants just waiting in the dark to bite off some poor unsuspecting penis that gets too close. Does having cancer suddenly doom me to a life of celibacy because I'm completely nuts and want to spare some poor schmuck the Bobbit special? How do you get past thinking of part of your body as diseased?
*with payments of course!
**for those unfamiliar w/ Clerks 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFShaDcoJNY
***thankfully no Listerfiend has taken up residence!
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